[Editor’s note: We’re pleased to introduce “Feel Better”, a new column by Clinical Mental Health Counselor Kathleen Lynch that will appear quarterly in the Gazette.]
The self-care industry is estimated to be worth anywhere from $10 billion to the hundreds of billions of dollars. With all that bank being thrown at care of the self, why do we often just end up feeling guilty?
- Why didn’t I stretch before I worked out?
- I went to bed too late and now I’m exhausted for my meeting
- I can’t believe I ate the WHOLE thing
You can almost hear the whip cracking.
Sometimes self-care seems like just another obligation on our already long list of obligations — our “woulda, coulda, shoulda” lists. What we don’t accomplish in a day starts to become the highlight instead of what we did accomplish. And I’m just going to say it, in a time when we are worried, missing our friends and family, and overly zooming, sometimes it takes all we have to simply show up.
Add this to all the lingo about the hottest, the latest, the greatest thing you need to drink, eat, read, ride, or experience. That alone can make even the most adept self-care guru feel intimated.
- You need to drink a shot of apple cider vinegar in water every day!
- What pro-biotic are you taking?
- Where do you buy your Kombucha?
- What meditation app do you use?
What IS Kombucha anyway? And when did supplements take the place of a multivitamin? It reminds me of how I felt in high school when I admitted not knowing who Lenny Kravitz was or that I wasn’t wearing Sasson jeans. Self-care isn’t supposed to be competitive.
And there is no one-size-fits-all formula. There are those who have taken self-care to an exceptionally high level and those who are just tapping into what it even means. The truth is, it can be overwhelming and confusing simply because it’s not the same for everyone. For one person, self-care can be finding the time to take a long walk by the water, while another wonders what’s the point if you’re not breaking an insane sweat. It’s a matter of knowing yourself and what you need to hit the “reset” button.
Three key elements to feel better
For those of you who are interested but just don’t know where to begin, who maybe see “green drinks” and just wonder why, here are a few tips — a starter kit if you will that includes three key elements: Water, sleep and sunshine. I love self-care that’s also free and it’s often the best. Following what many would refer to as “old wives’ tales” is a good jumping off point — all those things your grandma might tell you to do, like rub some dirt on it!
Water
Let’s start with the benefits of water. My early training was in Chinese medicine and it’s from there that I learned the basics. Within my training, we would read from the Tao Te Ching to get a sense of where the age-old traditions came from. The Tao was intended as a rulebook of sorts to help restore harmony and tranquility in a time when people were suffering with a number of disorders. [Borrow a copy from the Shelter Island Public Library through Live-brary.]
When I first read it, much of it was over my head but eventually I started to have an understanding that the Tao sought to limit chaos in our lives. The book often refers to water and likens good humans to water, because their intent is to nourish all things without looking for merit.
“The best people are like water, which benefits all things and does not compete with them. It stays in lowly places that others reject.”
One of my first teachers told us that the Tao recommends we walk by water every day in order to calm and nourish the soul. I have never forgotten that. Connecting to water here on Shelter Island is easy. It’s also a reminder of how everything is moving and changing at all times. In my daily walk at Shell Beach, the water can be all the blues, sometimes gray, and capped in white or so still it mirrors the clouds in the sky.
Ceil Surerus, a friend I walk with, swears the daily breathing of salt air has helped to keep us healthy and COVID-free. It certainly can’t hurt.
Next, drink the water. Over the years, clients will ask what they can do to improve whatever condition they are suffering with. My first answer is always, “Drink more water.” When they return and ask what else they can do, I ask, “How’d you do with the water?” Often the answer is that is was not too successful. “Maybe stick with trying to drink more water then,” I tell them.
It will hydrate the skin, aid digestion, boost lung health and circulation, and help relieve constipation. If you have a headache, the first thing to reach for should not be a pain reliever, it should be water. Nurse Mary, our award winning school nurse, will back me up on this. Any student who drops in with a headache will first be directed to her water cooler. If you find it difficult or don’t like the taste, slice some cucumbers or oranges or lemons and float them in a nice big glass pitcher. Put the pitcher on the counter where you can see it. It’s attractive and has a little flavor.
Drink the water. Like walking by water, it certainly can’t hurt.
Next, get in the water. Swim, soak, wade, float, dive, tread — and if it can be salt water, even better. If you’ve got sore muscles, get in a hot bath filled with Epsom salt and soak for 20 minutes. It doesn’t have to be fancy or scented or organic or posh in any way. Epsom salt is inexpensive and can be found at the IGA and the Shelter Island Pharmacy.
You might wonder what Epsom salt is doing as you soak. Epsom is made of magnesium and sulfate and works to rid the body of toxins through the skin. It has been known to relieve stiffness, swelling and pain and, hey, what’s wrong with a nice long soak every now and then?
Being surrounded by water, there’s no excuse to not find the beach you like best and take advantage of the benefits of that salt water as well. I don’t know about you, but growing up if my brothers or sister or I had a cut or a scrape, my mother would simply pronounce, “Get in the salt water!” None of us ever asked why because when we did, we always felt better.
Gargling with salt water is still a classic in my book. If you’ve got a sore throat or any other ailment in the mouth, a splash of sea salt in some warm water will do you right. Infections find it hard to live in a salty environment and you can make a lot of fun noises while you do it.
Sleep
It’s winter ya’ll — gray, damp and cold. At its earliest, I think the sun went down at 4:25 PM. It’s natural to want to hibernate, stay warm and rest. We’re all aware that bears hibernate in winter but other animals hibernate too — hedgehogs, wood frogs, skunks and snails to name a few. Many do it for survival but there is much to be gained from sleeping.
Sleep is the body’s time to repair. And we don’t just need sleep, but really good sleep. I’m not sure when it became vogue to report that you only need five hours of sleep a night, as if it somehow made you tougher or more virile than your counterparts. WWGS—what would grandma say? I’m not a grandma but my experience and research points to 7 to 9 hours a night for adults and 8 to 10 hours for teenagers.
Sleep is a natural reset, inflammation reducer, memory enhancer, mood elevator and all around repair mechanism for our cells, tissues and muscle. Not to mention what it does to your face when you get a good night’s sleep — and what it does to your face when you don’t.
Falling asleep and staying asleep can be huge challenges for countless people, myself included. If I were to only give you one piece of advice on the topic it’s this: STEP AWAY FROM THE SCREEN. The unnatural light alone is enough to throw off the natural rhythm that comes when the sun goes down — not to mention the content. Absorbing too much news and following toxic threads on social media does not lend itself to quality rest.
Let the sun shine
My last free self-care tip for this session is simple: natural light. Allow it in your house, open up your vehicle sunroof (yes, in winter) and get outside. Even five minutes a day can increase serotonin, which is our body’s natural mood elevator.
You may think you are getting enough vitamin D from your diet or supplements but the majority of people are not. A new observational study out of the School of Medicine at Trinity College in Dublin links Vitamin D deficiency to severity of responses to COVID-19.
Get outside. I mean it’s right there.
Most importantly, work on tapping in to what you need to reset and care for this one body you have. Drink the water, go to bed early, get some sunshine early in the day and surround yourself with people who love you.
Kathleen Lynch is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor who approaches her work from a holistic point of view. She is also a Certified Personal Coach and Licensed Massage Therapist and has practiced coaching for many years in conjunction with massage therapy. Kathleen’s work focuses on the negative effects that stress and poor mental health can have on the body. She lives on Shelter Island with her husband and has a private practice in her home. For more information you may contact her through her website at timefortherapy.org